Dreaming The Impossible Dream

Do you ever cast on for something, in that wonderful dream-like daze where everything seems attainable, only to get that slow creeeping feeling after the first few rows that it's impossible? That's how I feel about the bathroom curtain. Don't get me wrong, it's coming along quite nicely, but it's just taking soooooo looooong!

Every row seems to go on forever. To add insult to injury, just as I seem to be making some progress, the whole thing curls itself up so that even I can't see it's beauty. Add to that the fact that I could probably have cast on half the number of stitches that I did, and you have a recipe for potential failure.

The problem is that I'm not a quitter. When P.A. spotted the enormous ball of Aunt Lydia's last week and remarked upon the size of the gargantuan skein of thread, I was forced to reveal my plans for the bathroom curtain to him. "That'll take a long time," he stated in an extremely dry tone. My heart sank. Even he didn't think my attention span would last long enough to complete it. Mind you, who could blame him. When you have to clamber over at least two different project bags, a couple of skeins of wool and several magazines on a regular basis just to get to your spot on the sofa, then you tend to have a heads up about the gnat-sized attentive abilities of your spouse! The fact that he thinks that this curtain will never actually see the light of day (literally) is like throwing down a gauntlet though. Now I HAVE to complete it!

To add to the fun, every time I go into the downstairs cloakroom I mentally try to measure how far up the window I think my work has come. This in itself is quite disheartening as I think I'm only about two inches above the windowsill so far, just in line with the top of the turquoise candle that I got as a freebie from the makers of Bombay Sapphire Gin! I have considered turning the whole project on its side, after all the pattern is symmetrical and that way I'd have half as much to knit. The trouble with that though is that the whole thing would be too long (sigh).

So I sit like a little old lady knitting away on my curtain not really caring how many yarn overs (YO) I put in or where exactly they go, because by the time I've finished it, the whole thing will be all gathered up on the rod and no one will really notice. This aspect could have been the most defeating of all, but actually it's really quite liberating. I can knit away quite merrily and not worry if I have a few stitches too many or too few at the end of the round.

Memories of what I am doing while I'm making the curtain are also getting knitted into it ofcourse. Last Saturday I knitted several rows of Daniel Craig into the white frilly piece. We spent the evening watching "Quantum of Solice" and now I swear I can see some double "O" 7's in the curtain. Somehow though, I don't expect this memory to last. When I walk into my bathroom and see a frilly white lace curtain hanging at the window, I'm hardly going to think, "Ah, James Bond" now am I.

Or am I? I think not. Male machismo and white lace do not generally go together..........unless ofcourse we're talking Colin Firth in "Pride And Prejudice"................ Oh, dear I can see where this is leading. Think it's time to get back to the job in hand and knit a few more rows. With any luck I won't see or hear from anyone while I do that so the curtain will be safe............... at least for a while.